


It’s okay to not be okay

by Bronzeling



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Ficlet, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bronzeling/pseuds/Bronzeling
Summary: What time was it?? Who knows, Leo had lost track of how much time had past since he closed himself in his study to compose, everyone was okay, so why was it so hard to write something joyful?OrAuthor projects their mental health issues onto fictional characters to feel better XD
Relationships: Sena Izumi/Tsukinaga Leo
Kudos: 34





	It’s okay to not be okay

**Author's Note:**

> This is kinda a vent fic because for some reason my mental health takes a plummet right before I sleep and I kinda project onto comfort ships when I’m not doing great so yeah! XD enjoy I guess!

What time was it?? Who knows, Leo had lost track of how much time had past since he closed himself in his study to compose, everyone was okay, so why was it so hard to write something joyful? All his hand seemed to be writing was sad songs. Knights didn’t NEED sad songs they needed happy ones! To fill the audience with delight and wonder and the skill of his family! But... the inspiration he sought so desperately wouldn’t come. 

There where what seemed like millions of loose bits of paper scattered on the floor around him but not one of them was good enough. Maybe he wasn’t good enough? Maybe, his knights... no... they weren’t even his anymore where they? He had passed them on to the sweets loving red head when he graduated, atleast, within Yumenosaki, he still had them within ensemble square... but did he really? Leo shook his head in an attempt to clear it and stared down at the blank piece of paper infront of him.

Why did he have to feel like this? It wasn’t like he had done anything wrong had he? But his mind was devouring itself slowly, filling his head with thoughts of pain and sorrow instead of the melody he so craved. He gripped his pencil tightly and hit himself in the head a few times thinking maybe he could force this feeling of overwhelming sadness out of him, unsuccessfully. There was the sound of wood snapping causing Leo to look down at his hand that was holding what had been the pencil, the two pieces of the now snapped in half pencil fell the the floor with an impossibly loud noise, making Leo wince. 

The composer felt a sob rising in the back of his throat and tears pricked at the edge of his eyes when a shadow appeared in the doorway, didn’t he close the door? Leo didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. 

“Sena!” He said with his normal joyful front, hiding his shaking hands in his jacket pockets and managing to will the sob down for the time being. “ I was coming to bed I promise but then such wonderful inspiration took me and I simply couldn’t wait to write it down!” He couldn’t let his boyfriend know how he was truly feeling, he HAD to seem upbeat and strong so he could support everyone who couldn’t. 

Izumi was infact standing in the doorway, leaning against it with his arms crossed over his chest and a slight frown. It wasn’t the first time he had come across Leo doing this, burying himself in notes and melodies to distract him from the mind and thoughts that plagued him. But this time was different, this time it was worse than usual. 

Izumi had always been able to see past the cheerful words and joyful, possibly stupid front Leo put up when he was struggling mentally and normally he didn’t comment on it, knowing that this was how his boyfriend coped but... it had been getting worse. He had noticed it getting harder and harder for Leo to keep up that front around the others. 

He had been getting socially exhausted more easily, coming home after lives, rehearsals and outings with knights and falling asleep on the couch almost instantaneously. Or the opposite, staying up all night in his study writing melodys.

He didn’t say anything, only made his was across the room to Leo, carful not to step on any of the discarded songs littered around the floor before sitting down beside him. 

Leo looked away, not wanting him to think anything was the matter but at the same time kind of wanting him to.

Izumi studied him with a concerned gaze, reaching out to brush a stray strand of orange hair away from Leo’s face before finally speaking. 

“ it’s okay to not be okay you know?” 

Something in Leo snapped at those words and he could no longer suppress the sobs that wracked his body.

Izumi was quick to wrap his arms around him and pulled him close to his chest, murmuring comforting words and running his hand through his hair gently. 

Surrounded by failed melodies and wrapped in the arms of the one he loved, 

Leo finally let himself cry.


End file.
